Matt Zainea Rockford Campus April 16, 2023
THE PURPOSE OF PURITY
SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDE
TOGETHER IN LIFE
QUESTION: When you think of your growing up experience, how was the topic of sex handled in your family? How do you think your family history effects the way you feel about this kind of discussion today?
TOGETHER IN THE WORD
THIS WEEK’S KEY PASSAGE: 1 Corinthians 6:12-7:24
**If you think it would help to foster more open communication, feel free to separate men and women for this discussion.
Note: We encourage you to read the entire text together as a group out loud.
Matt and his friend Mike were both engaged, they would go to the gym to work out. Mike would make comments about the women working out. Mike would say, “Just because I ordered, doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu.” Matt response was, “That’s why they take the menu away after you order.”
QUESTION: How do you think most people in society would react to Matt and Mike’s conversation? Whose side do you think they’d land on?
Food : Stomach
Body : Christ
Paul makes a very strong statement. When you are a Christ follower your body is now connected with Christ. When you commit sexual immorality, you join Christ with a prostitute. What we do to our bodies, we do to Christ.
Paul is fighting a separation. Sin creates a separation that results in sexual immorality.
SEPARATIONS:
- God – Man – Sin separated us from God and now there is a profound loneliness that we all feel.
- Man – Self – Romans 7:15, We do things we don’t want to do.
- Husband – Wife – The two shall become one, what God has put together, let no one separate. Most marriages are separated from the inside. Instead of acting like we’re one, we act like we’re competitors for scarce resources. Satan is just as satisfied with a couple with no intimacy, as with a divorce.
- Sexuality – Identity – We invented a term called gender.
- Procreation – Pleasure – Sex is meant to be in marriage and pleasurable, but it’s also for procreation. Does that mean sex should never be for pleasure, no, but it’s not separate.
- Sex – Presence – Now, sexual gratification doesn’t only come from other people. In can now come from pornography, first magazines, computer, virtual reality and now AI. Sex with a person has become much less the norm.
Paul, is trying to pull these separations back together.
QUESTION: Do you identify with the profound loneliness that Matt mentioned that we all feel due to our separation from God? How often does this feeling of loneliness overtake you and where do you go with it?
QUESTION: Read Romans 7:15, together and discuss the separation that we all have with our own selves. What is something that your redeemed heart really wanted to do, but in your flesh you didn’t end up doing or share something that you didn’t want to do, but you ended up doing anyway?
QUESTION: If you are married, how are you tempted to separate from your spouse? What do you think would help you to grow in oneness? What is one thing that you could do today to take a step toward your spouse?
QUESTION: Gender is a definitely a hot topic in society today. It is no longer a given that someone is either born a female or male and will remain that way. What are some of the consequences of this separation?
QUESTION: While it may be easy for those who don’t struggle with the sex they were born with to look down on the next generation and their beliefs about gender, what do you think would help you to grow in compassion for those who believe the lie that they can choose their own sex?
QUESTION: How do you think the separation of procreation and pleasure in sex has effected our world today? What are some of the consequences?
QUESTION: While it is easy to think that when sexual gratification comes from something other than a person (ie. pornography etc.), that the consequences are not as weighty. But, we know from Paul’s statement about uniting Christ with a prostitute, that is not true. What are some of the consequences of sexual gratification without the presence of a real person?
BODY IS A TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT
- Your body is not yours to gratify
- We must be in proper union with others
- We were bought with a price – take your freedom and willingly give it to Christ.
- Not my body, my choice
FLEE
Run – it’s easy to think sexual immortality is passive, but it isn’t. 1 peter 5:8 says, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Sexual immorality is like a lion stalking you. It seems like it’s not a big deal, but it tells you lies. It hides the truth of the consequences from you.
- Proactive – anticipate so you can avoid. Whatever it is that hooks you and begins your curiosity, plan for it and avoid it. Do what you have to do to keep yourself out of situations. Where ever you’re unobserved. Co-workers – plan around it.
- Private – Tend to your private life. Integrity means your inside life and your outside life are the same. Hypocrisy means you think in a way that’s different from your outside life. Don’t think your thought life is not destructive.
- Public – Be known and open in all ways. Don’t have areas of your life that are hidden. Particularly with with your spouse. Healthy Christ centered community is fertile ground for helping each other.
- Persistent – Realize this takes everything we have for most of our life. It’s just part of life. We were made to be with Christ, but there will be a pull on our heart to go for a person that’s not ours.
QUESTION: Of the four former categories listed for fleeing from sexual immorality, which ones do you need to grow in? What’s one thing you can do today to take a step in accountability in this area?
NEXT STEP: What is something I need to flee and who will I share it with this week?
Pull these separations back together. If confessions need to happen, confess. There’s no condemnation for those who are in Christ.
DIRECTIONS FOR HUSBANDS AND WIVES
- Conjugal rights – sex in marriage is a right. The bible does not give us many rights, but this is one. He’s NOT saying if your spouse is denying you sex, that you can demand it from him/her. He’s trying to say, that in a healthy marriage sex is an integral part of it.
- Body authority – Paul is not talking about demanding to use the other person’s body. He’s saying to remember whose you are. I’m Christ’s first, but then I’m my spouses. This is mutual, we have to work together. When I’m not in my spouse’s presence, I’m still theirs. If my spouse sees me acting in a way that makes her/him uncomfortable, we are to submit to that.
- Spiritual exemption – has to be agreed on, for a short time, and then come back together.
- No divorce or remarriage – Christ gives an exception for sexual immorality. A lot of our divorces are due to the hardness of our hearts. If hardness of heart is the reason for the divorce, don’t get remarried. We begin to imagine a better future, a better spouse. If you are divorced and remarried, please do not allow yourself to feel condemned. That is not from God. We have all fallen short of the glory of God.
- Stay yoked for holiness – If your spouse is not a believer, don’t leave just because of that. Don’t stay grudgingly, but lovingly.
The Purpose of Purity is for Christ followers, married or single, to embody the created oneness of Jesus and humanity. In our purity we reconnect our divisions of our sinful autonomy toward an all-encompassing life-giving unity with God and each other.
QUESTION: Married couples, if you are willing and feel safe with your group, consider sharing where you are in your sex life with your spouse. It is a source of joy for you as a couple, or is it a struggle? Which direction from Paul is most challenging for you? Is there an area that the Holy Spirit is prompting you to seek help in?
NEXT STEP: What is something I need to flee, and who will I share it with this week?
There’s rescue coming for those who need to confess.
TOGETHER IN PRAYER + ACTION + SPEAKING
Pray together for courage in confession, rescue from bondage of sin, and grace to move toward one another in love.
“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land.” Isaiah 1:18-19
