Matt Zainea Rockford Campus March 19, 2023
GET IT TOGETHER – Resolving Disputes
SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDE
REMINDERS
Group Leaders Spring Refresh – March 26 at 10:50am at the Rockford Campus
Leaders! Don’t miss this chance to gather together, be encouraged and equipped to lead your group well. Please RSVP to Kathryn Jones ([email protected])
TOGETHER IN LIFE
What’s the most famous trial that comes to your mind?
What do you think was so intriguing to the community about this trial?
Was it intriguing to you personally and if so, why?
TOGETHER IN THE WORD
THIS WEEK’S KEY PASSAGE: 1 Corinthians 6:1-11
Note: We encourage you to read the entire text together as a group out loud.
** Part 9 of our series Get It Together addresses: What is the role of the church in settling conflict between Christ followers? Matt challenges us to always seek reconciliation.
BIG IDEA: We are quick to build our cases against each other, but does God have a case against you?
Important Points:
- Lawsuits – Paul does not say that all lawsuits are wrong. There are certain types of legal actions that are necessary. Paul just wants us to handle the right ones in the right way.
- Civil – Paul seems to be referring to civil suits, not criminal cases.
- Lawyers – Good godly lawyers are a blessing.
- Body- Paul is not addressing individuals as much as the whole church body.
1 Corinthians 6:1 “When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints?”
There’s something about wisdom that Paul wants us to understand.
QUESTIONS:
Read 1 Corinthians 6:1-11 in a more contemporary version, like The Message or the New Living Translation.
- What differences do you see between the versions?
- Does one version come across stronger than another?
- Does the more contemporary version help you to see something that you missed in the ESV, or visa versa?
Three Types of Disputes:
- Normal daily friction
- Lawsuits
- Matters of church discipline
These things all have something in common: A grievance that wasn’t dealt with, was allowed to fester and brings about a lawsuit. He wants to get us back to the core.
QUESTIONS:
- Can you think of a time recently where you were involved in a minor conflict?
- How did you handle that conflict?
- Example, did you address it directly? Did you vent to someone else about your frustration? Were you able to let it go without addressing it? Etc.
*Matt says:
When Paul mentions that one day we will assist God is judgement, it’s a little startling. Paul is asking, “Don’t you know what your future is? Your real future that’s coming.” As Christ followers, our behavior in the present day should be shaped by what is coming in the future. One day we will rule with Christ. We look at the present circumstances, grievances and struggles in light of eternity.
Shame: Paul wants to shame us. We don’t really talk like this today, when we use the word, “shame” we use it as a physiological term, but that’s not what Paul means. Paul lives in a culture that is based on honor vs. shame. Believers are commanded to honor God and people, and when we fail in those ways we are in dishonor, or as Paul says, “shame.” Paul wants us to feel the reality of our dishonor. When we dishonor God’s people, we dishonor God.
QUESTIONS:
- Have you ever really thought about the fact that one day we will judge the angels? What are you thoughts about that?
- Do you understand the difference that Matt pointed out about how Paul uses the word, “shame,” vs. how we use that word today?
Paul will hurt your feelings to save your soul. Paul language is harsh to get his point across. He wants us to feel the fact that our action dehumanize people.
QUESTIONS:
- Can you think of another letter from Paul where the phrase, “Paul will hurt your feelings to save you soul,” applies?
- Can you imagine what it might have been like to be in a small group with Paul?
- Do you think you would appreciate Paul’s candor, or do you think it would often rub you the wrong way?
In the times of the Corinthian church, only the upper class had access to the courts. There was no real justice for the poor.
When we take someone to court, we build a case against them. We build up all their deficiencies, remember all their offenses against us and stack them on top of one another to prove our point. However, we don’t just do this in court cases, we do this in every day disagreements. We even recruit teammates to help us win our argument by spreading gossip. Meanwhile, we elevate our own good points. We give ourselves the benefit of the doubt while assuming the worst about the other person. We miss the reality of our own broken hearts.
We dishonor God’s name when we fight in public.
QUESTIONS:
- What could be some other ways that Christians fight in public today besides taking someone to court?
- Do you ever catch yourself building a case against someone you love because of a minor disagreement?
- How often would you say you assume the best about yourself and the worst of someone else?
One of the Most Incredulous Statements in all of Scripture:
1 Corinthians 6:7 “To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?”
Paul wants us to drop our case, not fight back, leave money on the table. Who would ever do that? Jesus! The cross is the greatest defrauding in the universe! Read 1 Peter 2:19-24
It’s better for you to walk away and not defend yourself in order to honor God, but we can’t even do it in our own marriages and households. Paul wants us to think long and hard about what’s going on in our own heart. Lawsuits are often a formalized self deception.
QUESTIONS:
- What is your first reaction when Paul asks the questions, “Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?”
- When you feel attacked what is your first instinct?
- When considering your closest relationships, how difficult is it for you not to defend yourself during a disagreement?
REMEMBER, YOU ARE:
- Washed – Ask yourself, “What am I washed from?”
- Sanctified – Ask yourself, “Do I live as if I’m set apart by God? What would people say about you?”
- Justified – Ask yourself, “Do I feel self-justified or do I feel God-justified in my disputes?”
QUESTIONS:
- How does remembering what God washed you from help you to grow in compassion toward those who sin against you?
- How do you know if you’re self-justified or God-justified?
- What might be some clues that someone is self-justified?
- What do you think a person’s life would look like if they were living God-justified?
Levels of Dispute Engagement
- Civil
- Church Leadership
- Church Body
-Starts at the most personal level. Before you move up the chain, remember this. Did God have a case against you?
Hebrews 12:1-2
TOGETHER IN PRAYER
None of us has the power to change on our own. There is no hope of change without the power of the Holy Spirit. Take some time to pray as a group, invite the Holy Spirit and ask Him to open your eyes to the ways you are self-deceived. Ask Him to direct your next step toward reconciliation.
Pray Hebrews 12:1-2 together, ” Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
TOGETHER IN ACTION
Read 1 Peter 2:19-25 together and let it challenge you.
