Discord

 

Philemon 1:4-22

ICE BREAKER

1. Have you ever had someone treat you with a lot of trust because someone else put in a good word for you? Or, did you put in a good word for someone(One example of this is giving a reference for someone for employment.)? Share your story with the group. Philemon is a book about reconciliation. Paul puts in a good word for Onesimus with the sacred goal of full restoration. 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Do you have any broken relationships in your life– either a significantly broken relationship or one that died a slow death from a lack of care? Share with the group.
2. Who do you need to be reconciled to? What will you do this week to restore that relationship (It may not be an open conflict but perhaps a dormant friendship)? Would it be okay with you for the group to check back in at the next group meeting to support you in the process? 
3. Group leaders: ask the group if anyone would value some time in the group processing a broken relationship in their life(please consider reminding the group that this is not a time to give advice unless a group member is specifically asking for this type of input.). At times we are stuck and don’t know how to move forward and at other times we are justifying a lack of movement due to passivity so processing within the safety of the group can be redemptive. 

NOTES AND QUOTES

The book of Philemon features:

• No specific theologian teaching.
• Deals with one item
• This one item is personal

Paul sends the letter to Colossae where Philemon lives. Paul writes to Philemon regarding Onesimus–he was a bondservant to Philemon.  We don’t know the details but Onesimus must have done something wrong in relationship with Philemon.

Onesimus has become a born again believer and has become Paul’s trusted assistant. So, Pauls’ letter is intended to build a bridge between Onesimus and Philemon. 

In verse 8-9 Paul says he could command Philemon (This is sort of like a parent telling a child to apologize to a sibling. If you coerce someone it is not the same as when it is from the heart.) but Paul wants to appeal to Philemon’s heart instead. 

Compassion, care and forgiveness cannot be coerced.

Paul wants Philemon to be “ALL IN” on this reconciliation. Why? This is best for Philemon, it is best for Onesimus, for Paul and for the church body. 

What is Paul risking here? The risk is that Philemon says “No.” 

Trust and friendship and wholeness can be gained via the manner in which Paul is requesting from Philemon. 

Paul is not asking merely for forgiveness but also for full restoration from Philemon. 

Paul loves Onesimus and in spite of his own personal loss in sending Onesimus to Philemon Paul is after the greater good. 

 

Great power comes when full restoration accompanies forgiveness. 

We can pass off broken relationships as no big deal. We sort of settle for forgiveness ONLY without pursuing full restoration. 

Note: At times the person on the other end of the conflict doesn’t want reconciliation and we cannot take responsibility for this.

Paul writes in II Corinthians 5:17-19 the following:

 “…If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation….all this is from God who through Christ reconciled us to HImself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…”

Philemon is an application of this verse in Corinthians. 

We all sinned and were separated from God. We had no hope of connection with God again. But, through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for our sins we have been reconciled. 

There are two kinds of reconciliation.  

The first is the primary reconciliation which is our salvation in Christ. The second reconciliation is the reconciliation of our human relationships whenever there is brokenness in them.  Christ is saying that because you are now in My name this is what you do: reconcile with one another. 

Paul says, 

“So, if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me.” 

Put the trust you have in me, Paul, and place that trust onto Onesimus.

This is all rooted in the cross of Christ and the power of His work of reconciliation for our sin. We give Christ our sin and in return He gives us His righteousness. 

The mission of our church is making disciples via: 

• ReachI(reconciling people to Christ), 
• Race 
• Refugees  

 

Here are some qualities in the book of Philemon to reflect on: 

Onesimus:

He has changed and he is willing. Onesimus is risking rejection to return back to Philemon. 

 

Philemon: 

We see something of his character in the letter. He has good character. Paul says he is confident that Philemon will not only do what Paul asks but will go above and beyond what Paul requests. 

 

Paul: 

He is an agent. He sees that he is capable of helping this restoration along. He is selfless. Also, Paul is imprisoned and he purposely reminds Philemon of this. 

Paul is in effect saying that he is paying a huge price as he is in prison for Christ.

 

Own; Restore; Move

 

OWN: We often tend to be passive in this whole process. We wait for the other person to make a move. 

So, OWN your part. The other person may not own their part. 

 

Restore: Be like Philemon and seek to restore

 

Move: Be like Paul–have a heart to envision the good that can be gained.