Stu Quackenbush Rockford Campus July 30, 2023
Seek (Part 4: How to Forgive)
SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION GUIDE
REMINDERS
Check out the summer schedule for upcoming events.
TOGETHER IN LIFE
Stu shared about having great neighbors, what kind of relationship do you have with your neighbors?
TOGETHER IN THE WORD
THIS WEEK’S KEY PASSAGE: Matthew 6: 14-15
Note: We encourage you to read the entire text together as a group out loud.
Big Idea
If you are a true Christian, you will be a forgiving person.
Warm Up Questions
- How were offenses and forgiveness handled in your family of origin?
- Were you encouraged to be open and address conflict, or avoid it?
- Generally speaking, does it comes easy for you to forgive or is it difficult?
Activity: Pause and Pray
We always come to the Bible as disciples, not critics. We sometimes don’t understand what we read, and sometimes we wish we felt more connection with it regardless. But the disciple comes in faith to receive what God has for us, knowing His Word is good and trustworthy because He is good and trustworthy. Take a moment and thank God for the gift of forgiveness that you’ve been given through Jesus. Confess any frustrations or concerns you may have about forgiving those who have hurt you, and ask for God’s help to approach His Word with faith and humility and open hearts.
If we refuse to forgive others, our sins won’t be forgiven.
Jesus is NOT saying that you earn salvation through forgiving people. Jesus is also NOT saying if you forget to forgive someone that your salvation is taken away.
Jesus is saying if you are a true believer that understands what Christ has done for you, it is impossible for you to live in a pattern of unforgiveness.
When we come to the word of God, we want it to do two things: afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted. The strength of Jesus’ words are meant to bring us pain in order to wake us up and show us our sin. However, if we’ve been afflicted by life altering offenses, we must remember that Jesus sees us, knows our pain and loves us in it. If God gives us harsh words, we must remember that it’s out of love and for our good.
QUESTIONS
- How often do you apologize? Is it difficult for you to do? Why or why not?
- How often do you confess sin before the Lord?
- How often do you confess sin to those in community with you?
Why Forgive?
- We don’t make others pay for their sin because God didn’t make us pay for ours.
- Our Savior commands it.
- Forgiveness draws us closer to Christ and his suffering.
- If we don’t, neither will our Father forgive us.
Definition of Forgiveness:
- The debt is cancelled. Jesus did not make me pay, so I can’t expect other people to pay.
- I accept the consequence of the other person’s sin in my life.
- I commit to bring my pain to my savior Jesus Christ.
Three Categories of Forgiveness:
- No forgiveness
- Incomplete forgiveness: forgiveness without the hard work, still bitter, still excited to bring up the offense.
- True Forgiveness – While there are real offenses that hurt us and we need to process, all of our true needs are met in Christ. Stu says, “If I believe that what you’ve done to me has destroyed my life, I will never be able to forgive you.” In or to have true forgiveness, we must believe that God is sufficient to give us all we need in every moment, therefore we can release the other person from having to meet our needs.
QUESTIONS
- What do you think holds you back from wanting to forgive?
- Do you ever struggle with bitterness?
- Would you be willing to invite a trusted friend/group member to give you open feedback on if they see any bitterness in your life? If not during group time, maybe one on one?
How to Forgive?
- Look to Jesus as the author and perfecter of our faith, Hebrews 12:2
- Pray – None of us has the strength to forgive on our own, but ask God for the strength to forgive. He will give it to us.
- Choose to forgive – don’t rely on emotion choose forgiveness. God sees how hard you’re trying and He will honor your effort.
Every sin committed against you has either been paid for by the blood of Christ or will be punished in hell for all eternity.
QUESTION:
(To write down privately)
I need to forgive ________ for _________.
This hurt me in the following ways:
If you can’t think of someone you need to forgive ask yourself what do I need to repent of?
TOGETHER IN ACTION
Reflect on God’s love for you in Christ and how much you have been forgiven. Share what you wrote down privately with someone you trust and choose to take a step towards true forgiveness.
TOGETHER IN PRAYER
Colossians 2:12-15 “Having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead. And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.
Father, help us to remember what Jesus went through on the cross – the physical pain, the public humiliation, the ridicule of the authorities, the slander of the crowd, the betrayal of His friends and the spiritual battle that we can’t even begin to understand. You did all of that for us. All of our past sin and future sin, has all been paid for. We can live in freedom and victory because of your sacrifice. Don’t let us give in to the temptation to hold on to our bitterness, help us to give it to you. Free us from the bondage of unforgiveness and help us to walk in the freedom of forgiveness.
