John 3:1-21
ICE BREAKER
Some of us have stories with church or religion that have some negative connotations with the words: “born again”.
What stirs in you when you hear the phrase: being born again?
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
- Consider the following three categories:
Pharisees: they embrace a religious system of their own making and are far from embracing Christ at the center of their lives.
Nicodemus: he is drawn to Christ but clinging to his religious system.
A disciple of Christ: one who is born again. One who humbles himself and lets Christ have his whole life.
One who sees one’s old “system” as useless and an insult to Christ.
Are you most like a Pharisee, Nicodemus, or a disciple of Christ? Share your answer and explain your thoughts.
- Jesus is emphatic with these words “Truly, truly…” and He is wanting Nicodemus (and us) to hear this one thing if we hear nothing else.
Nicodemus thinks he has embraced a good system and he is 95% of the way there and perhaps Jesus can give him the last 5%.
Jesus says: you are at 0%. In fact you are at a place that is worse than zero because of your arrogance in embracing your man made system.
Christ is helping all of us to know that belonging to Him begins with being born again.
All that you have built your life on to this point must be set aside. You must start over.
If you are born again ask Christ to assist you in identifying the ways you are pulled away from Christ toward the mindset of a Pharisee or of Nicodemus as described above.
What do you tend to rely on or what do you tend to grasp for when Christ loses that central place in your heart? Share your answer with the group.
Group leaders, consider pausing and inviting the group to pray specifically for each person regarding this question.
- If you have doubts about whether you have Christ as Savior or if you would like to talk to someone in your group about your relationship to Christ please share this at group or contact your group leader or a group member to discuss further.
Your group would love to assist you in having a personal relationship with Christ.
Group leaders: consider having one to one communication with anyone in your group that you do not have certainty about their relationship with Christ.
- John 3:19-21 speaks of how we love darkness and push the light away.
In our small groups we want to be known because we believe it is vital toward being a wholehearted follower of Christ.
The enemy as well as our flesh opposes being known.
Being known means we let people know about our struggle with sin and in doing so we let Christ and His light in.
We can be afraid to be known because we wonder if we will be rejected or looked down upon etc.
The enemy knows this and he capitalizes on this fear and shame to keep us isolated from the beauty of being known and loved in the body of Christ.
One author speaks of Christ creating “Spirit alive communities” where it is safe enough to be known at our worst.
Do you have a relationship or a small group where you can be known at your worst or are you hiding out of fear or shame?
Explain your answer and what you are currently longing for in this regard.
Group leaders: try to take the pressure off for your group.
Let them know you would like them to take a step toward being known whether that is in the group context or one to one with you or with someone else. People want to be known and fear it at the same time.
Here’s a quote you may want to share: “Vulnerability is the first thing I want to see in you but the last thing I want you to see in me.”
NOTES AND QUOTES
What do we really desire?
What is demonstrated in my life week to week that reveals my deepest desires?
Nicodemus is trying to figure out if he really wants Jesus, so he asks to meet with Him.
Three words describe Nicodemus’ interaction with Jesus: night, signs, and questions.
Why does he come at night? It may be because of shame or it may be out of caution in order to reduce conflict with the other Pharisees.
When do I go to Jesus? It is in the morning or at night or when I am awake in the night.
Nicodemus asks 3 questions.
If you had one question to ask Jesus, what would it be?
Imagine truly sitting down with Him. What would you ask Him?
Nicodemus calls Him Rabbi.
By referring to Him as Rabbi he is raising Jesus up from what his fellow Pharisees think of Him. He puts Jesus on a level playing field with himself.
Jesus replies with “Truly, truly…unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.”.
Jesus is emphatic with these words: “Truly, truly…”.
He is wanting Nicodemus to hear this one thing if he hears nothing else.
Christ is helping Nicodemus and all of us to know that belonging to Him begins with being born again.
All that you have built in your life to this point must be set aside! You must start over with a new life.
Nicodemus’ second question asks how a man can be born when he is old.
Nicodemus does not understand because he is stuck in his own system just like we can be stuck in our system so that we do not understand or submit to Jesus’ teachings.
Jesus tells him that his whole system is worthless. It is built on his appearance to other people.
There is only one way to enter and that is to have a new birth.
Nicodemus asks his third question: “How can this be?” He is baffled.
What Christ is saying does not fit his system.
.
What is your faith built on: your family’s religion, your church tradition or something else?
Someone once said that just because you park something in a garage it does not therefore become a car.
So it is with Christ.
Knowing Christ and having a religious tradition are two different things.
Religious systems do not save anyone.
About 70% of our country say they are christian and yet only 25% say the Bible is the Word of God.
We think we have a system. But, we are bankrupt.
Jesus replies to Nicodemus: “Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things?”
Jesus is saying to him: Nicodemus, you who shape others’ beliefs, and are a religious leader of the people have it all wrong.
How do we, like Nicodemus, miss it?
The answer in part is that we take the parts we like and dismiss the rest.
Next Jesus refers to Moses lifting up a serpent on a pole so that all who look at the snake will not die from the bite of the poisonous snakes.
Each person needed to believe God and then simply look at the snake on the pole and they would live.
Then Jesus says He Himself must be lifted up, “…that whoever believes may have eternal life.” John 3:14-15
He is saying to Nicodemus that every story he knows from the Bible points to Jesus.
Jesus then says to Nicodemus:
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16.
Are we willing to destroy the whole system we have trusted in so we can have Christ in full richness?
Take a serious look at the selfishness and brokenness of life. Can you fix it?
Can you fix your own family or your own heart? No.
Only Christ can save, redeem and change our hearts.
Nicodemus shows up again in John 19:39-40 after Christ is crucified.
He steps in to help with the burial of Jesus’ body.
He brings 75 pounds of burial spices–this is way more than was needed.
So, why bring so much? You bring more for someone of honor. Nicodemus has died to his old system and has embraced Christ.
