In Significant Moments (Part 6: Hearts at War) – Sermon Discussion Guide – 10-15-23

In Significant Moments (Part 6: Hearts at War) – Sermon Discussion Guide – 10-15-23

Gary Heim                                                        Rockford Campus                                            October 15, 2023


In Significant Moments
Part 6: Hearts at War




Leader Development Class (Sunday nights) – Our team has come together to make space for our leaders to come together to connect, to grow, and to leave charged up to lead well. This opportunity runs weekly during the Sunday evening programming at Rockford. It is a class you can jump in on at any time. Our goal is that all of our leaders would be connected into trainings at least 4 times a year in order to keep sharp and to help sharpen others. For questions or suggestions on class topics, please reach out to Trent Heaton ([email protected]).

Guy’s Game Night (10/27, 6pm) – Men at Magnify is gathering men from all corners of our church to hang out, eat lots of food and play games together. This will be a fun night to get to know other guys. Check out the link for more details.



Share a high, low, and a buffalo from the past week.

What emotion would you say you have felt more than any others this past week? (We’ll let you debate whether “tired” counts.)




Note: We encourage you to read the entire text together as a group out loud.


Big Idea

God warns us against anger’s destructive power in our lives. James helps us get to the root cause of our fighting: the desires (or longings) that well up inside of us. Even if we are pursuing things that are good, when we pursue them in the wrong way or from the wrong sources, we are turning our backs on God and destroying one another. We must repent, turn to God, ask Him to meet our needs, and rest in His provision.



  • Some of us avoid conflict at all costs, while others of us never back down from a fight. On a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is maximum avoiding and 10 is maximum confrontation, where would you score yourself?
  • What is the most recent fight you had, whether big or small. How did you resolve it?
  • What is one thing you would like to change about this area of your life?


Investigating Your Heart

What a blessing that God would give us such clear instructions about resolving these issues! Over and over the Bible teaches that our sins (including sins of anger) come out of the heart. If we want to change our actions, attitudes, and words, we have to address the heart.


  • Gary said that few people take the time to slow down and put words to their anger and desires. Have you ever done that before? If so, would you say you do this often or rarely? In the moment or afterward?
  • Is there a pattern to the kinds of desires in your life that have triggered anger in the past? If possible, try to get more specific than love and respect.
  • Is it easy or difficult to explore your heart and put words to its desires?
    • Note: If it’s hard, that’s ok! It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. But you are responsible for your heart, and so you should have some way or another to address issues that arise there.


Competing Value Systems

Everything we need, we get from God. Gary reminds us that too often we try to demand from others what we should be getting from God.


  • Read Matthew 6:25–34. How does it relate to the desire of your heart?
  • Is it easy or difficult for you to believe that God cares about you and will provide?
  • Are there things in your life that you strongly desire but don’t actually need? What’s one thing you can do to put them back in perspective?


Pause and Pray

Remember that God is jealous for you. You were made to have a thriving relationship with Him and He wants you to be where you belong. If there is anything in your life that God is convicting you about right now, take time to pray. Pray to confess your struggles. Pray to hold one another up. As James says: cleanse your hands, purify your hearts, mourn and weep for your sins, and draw near to God—knowing full well that He will always turn to you when you do.



Our “next steps” for the week are to practice the Four Steps that Gary outlined: stop and cool down, look inside, yield to God, and rethink and go. Assign yourselves to groups of two or three people and pray for one another about this issue; check in with each other next week about how this process worked for you.

Remember that Jesus Christ paid for all of our sins on the cross, and by doing this, He made peace between us and God. Because we have peace with God, we can have peace with one another. His Holy Spirit is at work in us to make us like His Son. We look forward to the day when Jesus will reign in perfect justice, righting every wrong, wiping every tear from our eyes, and completely resolving every longing of our hearts.